liz and dick and lindsay and whatshisname

Like most television biopics, Liz and Dick ends up being a blow-by-blow, scene-by-scene play-acting of the high and low moments from a celebrity's life. In the case of this film, which was supposed to chronicle the great romance between actors Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, there were two larger-than-life celebrities to portray. Liz and Dick were the original paparazzi darlings, and were THE celebrities of their era. Once they were together they were rarely out of the limelight. They both shunned and courted the press, reveling in their romantic, financial, and other excesses.

They were hot stuff and their affair was world news - check out her Cleopatra eyeliner

Taylor and Burton at their (first) wedding

The recently published book Furious Love took readers through their tumultuous affair and marriages. Liz and Dick most likely used the book as a source, but tended to play down or leave out some well-known details that would have played more dramatically into the saga of the "Battling Burtons" — such as the prodigious amount of alcohol that both parties consumed, and Burton's never-ending philandering. The Burtons were larger-than-life, but the movie is curiously quiet in tone, considering how many epic battles and parties the couple was known for.

The Lifetime movie did only OK in the ratings and even worse in reviews. Liz and Dick wasn't very good, but it wasn't horrible. It's about on par with The Girl, the recent HBO biopic which purported to be the true story behind the making of The Birds, but was mainly an opportunity for actress Tippi Hedren to finally share the sordid details of her unfortunate relationship with director Alfred Hitchcock. The main reason to watch Liz and Dick was not to find out about the life of the 60's most glamorous couple, but to see how tabloid darling Lindsay Lohan (who never manages to stay off the front page) would do as La Liz.

Lohan looked a bit too skinny to portray the fabulously curvy and diminutive Taylor. The costumes, make-up, and wigs were so meticulously done — why didn't the stylists add a little discreet padding in the hips and derriere to perfect Lohan-as-Taylor's look? She did just fine in the emotional scenes, but where her portrayal fell flat, and which undermined the whole viewing experience was in the voice. Elizabeth Taylor had almost a touch of hysteria to her voice. It was higher-pitched and more forceful than Lohan's. Lohan or her director, Lloyd Kramer, needed to take things up a notch. The quiet delivery of most lines just didn't cut it. Grant Bowler (Lost, True Blood), who played Burton, did a very good job imitating Burton's voice, which helped make up for his character not having much to do except pose with Lohan or spout pseudo-Shakespeare.

Lohan and Bowler play-act the Burton's wedding day

Actresses knew how to pose in the '60s

Liz and Dick shouldn't be a blot on Lohan's career as some unkind reviewers have been suggesting, but viewers who want to get a real taste of the Burtons and their undeniable chemistry would do better to watch Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, The Taming of the Shrew, or the movie that started it all, Cleopatra.

the apple needs to fall far from the tree

Helen: I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.
Bob: It's not a graduation. He is moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade.
Helen: It's a ceremony!
Bob: It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional...

Overachiever parents. What's with that? I swear, if I hear one more mom or dad say "Good job!" because their little angel has taken a step, slid down a slide, managed to get most of it in the toilet, etc., etc., I'm going to scream. Being a kid is not a job, and being a parent shouldn't automatically embrace a sports mentality. But it seems to, these days. How far away is this sort of praise from Jeter slapping A-Rod on the butt or giving him a high-five after he drives in a homer? Not far. That is appropriate behavior at Yankee Stadium. At the public restroom in Target, not so much.

Why should everything a kid does be congratulated? Simple day-to-day tasks that we all have to master in our formative years are being rewarded, illustrated in the fantastic scene (dialogue above) from The Incredibles, where the "super" dad sums it up.

Of course all parents want to cheer their kids on. But the pushy stage-mother is just a prescription for heavy-duty psych bills in your child's future. Let's face it, they're going to have plenty to resent you for anyway, but did the fact that you were so busy ferrying them to soccer practice and ballet class and violin lessons and god-knows-what-else really benefit them in the long run? What about just letting them have a childhood, where they play and have fun?

How much of this over-booking is the desire to expose your kids to all the great stuff that's out there or simply mimicking our own crazy schedules? Or trying to live out your 'deprived" childhood through your kid?

It's a precarious balance. Hopefully the kids won't suffer for it. Because we don't really need any more Mileys/Britneys/Lindseys.

And if everything a kid does is so darn good, how do we gauge real excellence?

Dash: You always say 'Do your best', but you don't really mean it. Why can't I do the best that I can do?
Helen: Right now, honey, the world just wants us to fit in, and to fit in, we gotta be like everyone else.
Dash: But Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of, our powers made us special.
Helen: Everyone's special, Dash.
Dash: [muttering] Which is another way of saying no one is.