i didn't know what time it was

My mom's memory issues continue to increase — or, I should say, her memory decreases. It is more like an ebb and flow, rather than a steady decline. Some days seem vaguer than others, some not too vague at all. One of the things I have noticed lately is that dates and times are starting to lose meaning for her. What day of the week or the month it is escapes her. It doesn't really matter. I'm on top of that, and all she has to do is ask. She remembers regularly scheduled things, like the cleaning people coming, but she isn't sure if it's tomorrow or the day after. Again, no matter. But events from the past — not names, forget those — are still there for her. Places she's visited, shows that she's seen.

Once I was young
yesterday, perhaps
danced with Jim and Paul
and kissed some other chaps.
Once I was young,
but never was naive.
I thought I had a trick or two
up my imaginary sleeve.
And now I know I was naive.

When my mom was in her 20s she lived in New York and had the opportunity to see many great musicals on Broadway. She bought record albums for each show she saw, like Bells Are Ringing, The Pajama Game and My Fair Lady. When she would get nostalgic and put on one of those records, I would read the lyrics on the back of the album sleeve and try to sing along. I grew up listening to those songs and growing to love them. I probably know the Rex Harrison/Julie Andrews cast recording of My Fair Lady by heart.

My mom also loved standards, and had albums featuring Sarah Vaughan singing Gershwin and my favorite, Ella Fitzgerald singing songs by Rodgers and Hart. I suspect these records may have been some of my parents' make-out music. The other day, when my mom was wondering what the agenda was for the day — actually, what was the day of the week — I couldn't help but hear Ella's voice in my ear, "I didn't now what time it was ..."

I didn't know what time it was
Till I met you.
Oh, what a lovely time it was,
How sublime it was too!
I didn't know what day it was
You held my hand.

I didn't know what year it was
live was no prize.
I wanted love and here it was
shining out of your eyes.
I'm wise,
and I know what time it is now.

Excerpts from "I didn't know what time it was," music by Richard Rodgers, lyrics by Lorenz Hart, originally from the musical "Too Many Girls" (1939).

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