city girl no more

Continuing my country mouse, city mouse theme ...

I have lived at least half of my life in cities. Big ones. But I am finally learning that you can take the girl out of the country (or away from the beach), but you can't take the beach out of the girl.

As we planned our recent summer vacation to the Jersey Shore I had fully intended to spend a few hours in New York, either on the way in, or the way out, or both. But on our ride out from the airport, it quickly became clear that wasn't going to happen. Not only did it take forever to get the rental car and get the hell out of town (note to self — when going to Jersey, never fly into to La Guardia again), but that trip through town was more than enough of a taste of New York for me and my daughter.

The best thing about flying into LaGuardia is definitely the view

It's amazing how quickly the hectic pace can get under your skin. The traffic was (not surprisingly) horrendous, but it also gave me the opportunity to stop and gawk like a tourist and see what had changed. Driving through midtown we got some fabulous views of the Empire State Building. And also of Times Square. I have spent some time in New York since last I lived there — we spent Thanksgiving in midtown about five years ago — but this time all of the Blade Runner-esque video screens really made me feel like I was in the middle of some hectic soda commercial. Not a feeling I am really looking to experience.

Approaching the Empire State Building

Stuck in traffic, below - but we got a great shot

Our relaxed time at the beach was so wonderful that I couldn't even imagine cutting it short to battle for a few hours with the crowds and pace of the city. The drive back confirmed that feeling. Our rental car, which had behaved perfectly for ten days while I tooled up and down the Jersey Shore, to Long Beach Island and back again, started to give me an error message and red overheating signal as we idled in blistering midtown traffic. It was like a scene from a movie, with a red bar increasing on the control panel and the countdown to the shutting down of the car in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 ...

I turned the whole car off, and luckily, a traffic cop had us sit through two lights while he allowed pedestrians to navigate Times Square. When he finally motioned us forward, I tentatively started up the engine and the red signal was, thankfully, gone. We made it safely to the airport, although it was a nerve-racking drive, and reported the mishap. Freak occurrence? Omen? I'm not sure.

Will I ever vacation in New York again? I'm sure I will. But I definitely got the message loud and clear as to what I want from my life (and maybe always have). A more relaxed pace. Near the water. And with as few red signals and dramatic countdowns as possible.

jersey girl

Although it's been over three weeks since we returned from our Jersey Shore vacation, I haven't had a lot of time to process it all yet. We've been adjusting to going back to school, and getting our first colds of the school year (I seemed to get it worse than the kid, go figure).

I grew up at the Shore, and there is always an element of nostalgia in coming back. I was afraid that might be the only thing pulling me there, and was presently surprised that wasn't the case. Yes, it is always fun to drive around and see what has survived since my childhood days and be disappointed in what hasn't (this year's big heartbreak — Freedman's Bakery is no more.) But there is something else going on, too. Going home isn't just about memories, it's also about physically connecting to a place. I live by the ocean in Florida, but it is still renewing and refreshing to dip my toes in the cold Atlantic of New Jersey, the ocean of my childhood. Maybe it's in my DNA.








There is also something about the pace that I love. I grew up in a vacation spot. I seem to have always wanted to live where everyone, i.e., tourists, want to come and visit, whether it be the beach, or a major city like New York or Washington, D.C.

As much as I enjoyed my time in those urban metropolises, the other thing that seemed crystal clear to me on this recent vacation was how much I love the beach lifestyle. Ron Jon's anyone? I may never have learned to surf, but I completely connect with a slower, more relaxed vibe. Like the "salt life" stickers you see on cars everywhere down here, I connect to the ocean, the salt air, the sand in my toes.

Where we live now, Palm Beach, can be a bit fancy sometimes, but that's not what I'm about, and it's not why I'm here. It's the ocean, across the road, that calls me. And I can't help but answer, "Hello, old friend."

throwback thursday: star wars, summer of '77

In the summer of 1977 the biggest movie of the summer was Star Wars. I had been eagerly tracking the progress of the film's opening through various fan magazines, and was not disappointed when we finally went to see it, on Long Beach Island (at a theater in Beach Haven, which alas, is no more). My family were all big science-fiction fans and loved the movie, from the corny crawl-titles at the start to the space battle at the end. Star Wars is the first movie that I ever saw twice in a theater. I think we all went back to see it again the next weekend.

Star Wars was also the first movie where I remember merchandising being an integral part of the experience. My brother and I collected Star Wars cards, which came in a pack, with gum, like baseball cards. Wish I still had some of those now. My mom loved the character of C3PO so much she asked a friend to create a customized tee shirt. I had a major crush on Mark Hamill, and was devastated when I read about him getting banged up in a car crash while filming his next movie, Corvette Summer. Anybody remember that one?

As much as I loved Star Wars, I wasn't in any rush to see the next installment, The Empire Strikes Back in 1980. Maybe it's because I guessed who Darth Vader was when a friend who had already seen it said, "You'll never guess who Luke's father is ..." and I suddenly just knew and told him. His face told me my guess was correct. I did end up seeing it, of course, and liking it, and the third installment, Return of the Jedi, too. I even managed to make it through the 1999 dreadful George Lucas cash-grab prequel, Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

I definitely had this one

When the Star Wars trilogy was re-released in theaters in the late '90s I headed back to the cinema to see if it was still as much fun on the big screen. The new digital scenes that had been inserted added absolutely nothing to the film, and the re-titling and re-sequencing of the original trilogy meant diddly to me. I didn't quite recapture that feeling I had all those years ago when seeing Luke and Leia and Han and R2D2 and Obi Wan and Chewbacca and all the other memorable characters for the first time during the summer of '77, but it was, and still is, a fun film.

throwback thursday: old barney

I grew up at the Jersey Shore and spent loads of time on Long Beach Island, but I don't think I ever climbed Old Barney, its lighthouse — that is, until last week. I wasn't sure at first that I'd make it all the way up, but thanks to some way stations along the way, I did. And it was great. What a view.

Vintage postcard from The Rix Mix

The kid and I had a great time.

It's a long way up

Following the kid

Don't look down!

What a view from the top

And back down again

back to the beach

It might seem strange for someone who lives so close to the beach, but I am really looking forward to our upcoming Jersey Shore vacation. I have realized that I haven't had a real vacation, a real break, since long before we moved down here. I haven't been on a plane since the kid was just a tiny one. So anyway, next week I will be leaving my beachy home to go stroll along the beach where I grew up. And I can't wait.

50 things

Celebrating a birthday makes one look backward as well as forward. I thought it might be nice, if a tad self-indulgent, to jot down some favorite memories, or things that have made me smile over the years. If you can't be self-indulgent around the time of your birthday, when can you? These don't get overly personal or intimate — I like to keep that sort of stuff to myself — and are in no particular chronological or prioritized order, except #1, of course.

1. The birth of my daughter.



It doesn't get much cuter than this.

2. Deciding to go to art school/move to New York City.
3. My asking to play the Middle Billy Goat Gruff in 1st Grade, a part that had been originally intended for a boy. Our teacher presented the roles in the school play as boys will be billy goats and girls will be flowers. Then she went around the room and asked who wanted to play what part. I was familiar with the story and knew that I wanted to be one of the three leads. It was probably the first time I really sounded off for myself, and tried to grab a bit of the spotlight. The pattern was formed.



My grandmother made the costume. The tinfoil horns were genius.

4. Starting my blog. It's led to so many good things for me, for my mind, for my well-being.
5. The homemade ice cream at T-Cone in Shipbottom, Long Beach Island, in New Jersey. I loved their strawberry, but the blueberry was out of this world and my absolute favorite.
6. All of the wonderful people I have met in my life so far. Thankfully things like the internet have helped us keep in contact, or reconnect after many years.
7. Appearing off-off-Broadway at the Henry Street Settlement in George C. Wolfe's Return to Glutten, where I got to act (and sing!) on stage.
8. Getting a sell-out crowd for two nights for a performance piece I co-wrote, Flesh, in New York; and a positive review in The Washington Post for my role in a dance/performance art piece I co-produced, Hammer.
9. Happy cocktail hours with good friends — with my daughter in tow — in Washington D.C.



The greatest opening that I ever attended at MoMA.

10. Getting dressed up for the Warhol opening at MoMA and bumping into Steve Martin, who, said "Excuse me!" He was hanging with his friends Julian Schnabel and Paul Simon.
11. Hanging out in the East Village and beyond in the '80s with friends — Dojo's, the Blue & Gold, the Holiday, the Kiev, the Pyramid, Danceteria — the list goes on and on.
12. My junior year at Parsons was wonderful. I had great teachers and was given the freedom to express myself and worked in all media — painting, drawing, sculpture, performance, you name it. The following year, my senior year, was unfortunately oppressive and just a countdown to graduation.



Rutger Hauer from Blade Runner facing out, and Mary and me on the right

13. Plastering New York City with posters publicizing Guilt Free Enterprise, a company, or more accurately, a state of mind, formed by my friend Mary and myself. My brother, on a weekend leave from the Navy, helped us guerrila-decorate.
14. Lying on a blanket in the middle of Central Park in the summertime, with wine, bread, cheese, and friends, and staring at the stars while a Metropolitan Opera star sang Puccini.
15. Running out of candy on Halloween night when I was in 3rd grade — my dad set up his telescope and gave looks at the full moon to the late trick-or-treaters and my brother and I got to stay up, too.
16. Seeing a movie in seventh grade science class about Stonehenge and saying to myself that one day I would go there. And being able to make that dream come true many years later on a trip with my mom to London.
17. Being lucky enough to get my 11th grade English teacher Mr. Brown, who recognized how much I loved to read and just made me want to learn more and more.



A large-scale photo collage I did for drawing class

18. Painting and drawing while my record player blasted Sandinista.
19. Having an "aha" moment, whether in relation to something in a meeting at work, in front of a blank piece of paper or screen, or just walking somewhere peaceful, where my mind can open up and receive new ideas.
20. Holiday celebrations with my family, where I'd get to see my cousins and aunts and uncles and eat Grandma's amazing food.
21. Turning 20, visiting home in New Jersey from New York, and lying outside in the front yard, looking at the stars at midnight. It was a nice feeling being separate from my family, but having them nearby, while being one with the universe. It seemed a fitting way to bid goodbye to my teenage years.
22. Visiting Venice during acque alte.
23. Getting my first car, a golden Acura Integra.
24. Requesting a lemon cake with orange icing for my fifth birthday — and getting one (and then many years later, having a friend try to replicate that cake again for me).
25. Writing a story about a little red fish for school when I was in first or second grade — my dad was so impressed with it he took us out after dinner and bought us a fish tank, full of tropical fish — and a red platy, which I named after my character, Redert.
26. Flying to Palm Beach, Florida on my own, at the age of 14, to visit my grandmother. She took me everywhere, introduced me to all of her friends. I had my first vichysoisse, went to Lion Country Safari, saw polo, and rode on an elephant. And now I live here.



A very serious, or very tired, 14 year-old

27. Buying my first legal drink, at 18, at the Lone Star Cafe, across the street from Parsons School of Design, and just around the corner from where my dorm was on Union Square.
28. The first time I was on an airplane, at age 8, visiting my grandmother in La Crosse, Wisconsin. I'll never forget the thrill or the feeling when the plane's wheels left the ground.
29. My first taste of my Grandma's sfincioni.
30. Visiting Greece with my mom, seeing so many places I had read about for as long as I could remember, like the Acropolis and Delphi, and being surprised and amazed by the difference in terrain as we moved through the country — hot in Athens, snow in Meteora, temperate in Corinth.
31. The frescoes in the Palais des Papes at Avignon.
32. The Botticellis at the Uffizi in Florence.
33. Having the ocean so close, the feel of sand under my toes.



It's hard to beat that view

34. Impressing my mom and cousin Ann and Aunt Paula with my Italian while we were traveling in Italy. I really just had enough to get by, but they loved that I could converse with the Roman taxicab drivers and get us around the city.
35. Staying up late and whispering with my brother, debating when Santa would come.
36. Visiting Mont St. Michel and staying out on the plain after we returned to the mainland from the city — we were waiting to see it in the sunset, not realizing that in the summer the sun doesn't set until long after 10 p.m. — but the sight was well worth the wait.
37. The Gainsboroughs at the Frick in New York.



"The Hon. Frances Duncombe," by Thomas Gainsborough, Frick Collection, N.Y.

38. Spending enough time in Florence to really feel that I could live there, that I knew the city. Maybe someday ...
39. Inheriting my dad's insatiable curiosity and life-long student status. There is always a topic of interest that I want to research and know more about.
40. Traveling to Paris by myself and day-tripping all over the place — Versailles, Chartres, Giverny, and the medieval walled town of Provins.
41. My mom making me feel that I could do anything, achieve anything, and that she would always be there for me.
42. My mom's idea of a lullaby for my brother and me — tucking us in as the Beatles' Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds drifted up from the stereo downstairs.



Probably waiting for Roy White or Thurman Munson to come to bat.

43. Going to see the Yankees games with my dad, from childhood to adulthood — just the two of us went one time, while I was living on my own in New York.
44. My first glimpse of the Pyramids.
45. Having a sense of humor, in pretty much all circumstances.
46. TV shows, books, and movies that have moved me or entertained me that I can share with friends and family, and being able to talk about them later over dessert, which helped hone my critical skills.
47. Going on a road trip to Kentucky with my cousin Ann, and the millions of other journeys we took together before and after the birth of my daughter.



Celebrating at Obama's Inaguaration



The kid took this picture of Ann and me at The National Arboretum, one of our favorite haunts in D.C.

48. Being able to share my love of family with my mom and other relatives. My mom, daughter, and I recently took a trip to Salem, Massachusetts after I discovered one of our ancestors was one of the first to be accused and executed as a result of the Salem Witch Trials. History is amazing and always brings us back to human nature.
49. Any opportunity that I get to sing.
50. Knowing that if I put my mind to it, this list could go on and on and on. I've got lots of fun things to remember and share. I'm sure we all do, if we sat down and thought about it for a while.

sprinkles

One of the advantages, or disadvantages, depending on how you look at it, of living in Florida is the plethora of ice cream parlors, where you can duck in to enjoy an escape-from-the-heat treat.

I am a sugar cone girl, and I like my treats pure, so no sprinkles or tiny gummies (like my daughter likes) or anything else to top off my dessert. I'm also not fond of the mixed-up flavors, like rocky road or cookies and cream. I'm drawn towards a really good vanilla, green tea, or a good fruit flavor, if they have one. Yesterday I considered pistachio (it was too green and sweet) or coconut, in which you could taste the flakes, and that was just right. There was a good-looking strawberry and the flavor of the day, blackberry, also looked tempting, so I'm sure we'll be back.



The best ice cream cone I have ever had, bar none, was two huge scoops of a fresh blueberry ice cream, from a tiny little place called T Cone, in Ship Bottom, on Long Beach Island, New Jersey. A quick internet check proves the place is still in existence and of course already has a facebook page! The ice cream was a medium purple color, and laden with berries and absolutely delicious. Before I discovered their blueberry ice cream I always ordered strawberry, which was also chock-full of fresh strawberry chunks.

My dad liked to take "rides" after dinner when we were growing up in South Jersey. We'd all pile into the car, sometimes gratefully, sometimes begrudgingly, depending on what television show we were being pulled away from, and he would take off in some direction he had planned on his own. Sometimes we would end up at the beach, gathering shells at twilight after all the tourists had gone back to their bungalows. Sometimes we'd just drive around for about an hour and go home. But sometimes there would be a treat—Dunkin' Donuts or ice cream at the end of the ride. And T Cone was one of our favorite summer ride destinations.

I'm probably still in search of that elusive blueberry ice cream cone. I don't think I've seen blueberry ice cream since those days. Maybe someday . . .