it was a pleasure to burn - fahrenheit 451

The kid is in high school now, and although her getting older must mean that I, too, must be getting older (yikes!), there are a few perks. One of them is getting to watch her discover things, like some great books that I read when I was around her age. First up is Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451, a dystopian masterpiece. The story of a society, perhaps our own, that has decided that the ideas included in books are dangerous, seems eerily prescient. The floor-to-ceiling view screens that most of society, including the protagonist Guy Montag's wife Mildred spend their days and nights glued to easily double for our large-scale flat screen televisions, tablets, and smart phones. And "The Family," the drivel that appears on the screen every day is simply reality television and YouTubers. Fahrenheit 451 was first published in 1953. Montag is a fireman, whose job it is to burn books, but is growing increasingly disillusioned with his job and his place in society.

I listened to the audiobook version, narrated by Tim Robbins. He did a good job with the voices, and seemed to especially have fun voicing Mildred. Maybe it was hearing the book out loud, but  I was struck by how poetic Bradbury's prose sounded, how rhythmic. I'm looking forward to introducing my daughter to some more Bradbury (and re-reading some myself). I'm impressed with this book as a first choice. I wonder what she will be asked to read next ...

BTW — If you are interested in seeing a film adaptation of the novel, please avoid at all costs the recent HBO "adaptation" of the novel. It shared the title, but not much else. A huge disappointment. The Francois Truffaut film, starring Oskar Werner and Julie Christie, from 1966, is the way to go.

favorite movie #61 - halloween edition: the return of dracula

Favorite movies that have had an impact on me - #61 - The Return of Dracula (1958) - Another film that impressed and scared me as a kid was The Return of Dracula, with Francis Lederer starring as the bloodthirsty count. The vampire film ditched the usual Transylvanian setting for bright, suburban California. I originally saw the film on my family's black and white television, so didn't know about the color insert scene until many years later. I think what scared me most was the sheer banality — Dracula could be someone posing as an uncle and living upstairs. He could gain access to your bedroom at night if you were so foolish to sleep with the window open. The last scene was pretty gruesome, too - I probably hadn't seen anything like it at the time. Lederer is effective, too —  just the right amount of charm and outsider-ness to make the squeaky clean characters find him off-putting. Bonus — the whole, remastered film can be viewed on YouTube.

#metoo

I was riveted to the supreme court hearings for Judge Kavanaugh last week. Like so many people, all of this talk of assault and how people react to a victim and survivor sharing their story has brought back painful memories of my own. I moved to New York City in the early 80s — a pretty innocent South Jersey girl. I had some street smarts — my dad was born and raised in N.Y., my mom lived there after college, I had an aunt and uncle on L.I., who all gave me pointers on how to get around safely. But inevitably I was on my own, and a woman alone can at times, unfortunately, be a target. Most of these unpleasant occurrences were anonymous in nature — being felt up on the subway where everyone saw, but no one helped. On more than one occasion. Verbal, sexual abuse on the street (far more extreme than the usual "Hey, baby." You get the picture.

But what resonated so strongly for me last week during Christine Blasey-Ford's testimony was an incident that happened to me just a few years ago, after I had moved to Florida. I was caring for my mom, who had dementia, and everyone told me I should be sure to care for myself, too, so I didn't get too run down. Acupuncture always works for me, so I set about looking for an acupuncturist. I started going on a regular basis, and after about a year he even started to teach me tai chi, for free, before my regular appointment. But during one afternoon appointment, for whatever reason only he could say, he thought I needed some "extra" treatment, and proceeded to massage me, below my waist, in my most intimate area. I was stunned — for only a few moments, but what seemed like forever, and then pushed his hand away, got up, and got out of there. He called me more than once the next week, after I blew off my usual appointment, and left a message on my voicemail. The first time he said that he didn't mean to do any wrong, but he implied that I had misinterpreted everything, and that he thought I should come back for my tai chi lesson. The second time he called, about a week after that, to apologize, without completely admitting anything, and hoped I would at least try to continue my tai chi lessons somewhere else. I never returned his calls and I haven't really done tai chi since.

I told just two people — my cousin and my chiropractor. I didn't want to put my chiropractor into an uncomfortable position where he would be forced to report another doctor. I just didn't want him to recommend anyone else to this guy. I told myself it was a fluke on his part and I just filed it to a back corner of my mind. I wanted to forget it.

And then this week I heard all of the talking heads asking, "Why didn't Blasey-Ford report it sooner?" They just don't understand, or care to. Trauma is not so easily dealt with. I completely understand why she didn't bring it up publicly before, but only told her therapist and a few people close to her. But when she heard that this person who had so negatively impacted her life was up for one of the most important jobs in the land, she could no longer keep silent.

I feel exactly the same way. I still have no desire to name or accuse this person publicly. But if I heard tomorrow that he was up for the position of Surgeon General, or some other such influential position, I think that such a lapse of judgement and behavior, as well as the destruction of trust between a doctor and his patient would be of extreme interest to his nominators.

I believe Christine Blasey-Ford. I believe women and men who find the courage to share their stories. It isn't easy or pleasant. I told my daughter for the first time this weekend why I never went back to that doctor. Why before I never could completely answer her question as to why I switched acupuncturists so suddenly. Why I have to say #MeToo.

favorite movie #60 - halloween edition: castle of blood (danza macabra/danse macabre/castle of terror)

Favorite movies that have had an impact on me - #60 - Castle of Blood (Danza Macabra) (1964) - I grew up on horror films, mainly watching them with my dad (who must have loved them too, and always turned them on) and family on television on Creature Feature or Thriller Theater. One of my earliest memories of having the bejeesus scared out of me is this Italian dubbed masterpiece from 1964, Castle of Blood. For years I thought its title was Nightmare Castle, another Italian gothic horror film starring the wonderful Barbara Steele. It was also pretty sexy for its time. I recently tracked it down — it's available to view on YouTube (in English, French or Italian). The plot is both simple and fantastic.  In a pub, a journalist (Georges Rivière) accepts a bet from Lord Blackwood (Umberto Raho) and Edgar Allan Poe (!) (Silvano Tranquilli) that he can spend the night in a haunted castle on All Hallow's Eve. All during the night various ghosts re-enact their gruesome deaths, and he falls in love with the beautiful, ghostly Elisabeth (Steele) who tries to help him escape ...

related:
halloween memories — barbara steele
a life-long love of scary movies