ladies of a certain age

I know I haven't hit my expiration date, but does everything have to start falling apart right now? Apparently a few body parts have hit theirs, however. I had to have my gallbladder removed five months ago. There's a disc in my neck that is bulging a bit and giving me some discomfort, so my chiropractor is "making me taller," on a machine that bears a remarkable resemblance to the medieval rack. I seem to have developed TMJ and an inability to tolerate gluten. And let's not even mention PMS, which seems to get a little stronger every year.

And the list goes on. My previously crooked and then straightened-when-I-was-a-teen teeth seem to be drifting again. Braces? The kid will probably have to have them in a year or so, and the orthodontist is hinting that I should consider it too — should we tag team? The ENT thinks that I should have my deviated septum re-deviated, too. Didn't any of these old repairs come with a warranty? Sigh. I've been breathing this way for quite a few years. Does everything have to be fixed? I'm not so sure.

The upside to all of this — middle age, let's face it — is that I have made some major dietary and life changes over the past year and I'm now back to my college weight. Maybe even a little lower. High school weight? Dare to dream. But my tummy troubles still exist, not instantly solved by removing a non-working gallbladder. I'm working on them, with the help of diet, acupuncture, and my naturopath/chiropractor.

I want to be around for my second half, so it's imperative that I stay healthy and get stronger. But does everything have to be perfect(ed)? I just want to feel good. Most of the time. I guess you choose your battles. Right now my focus is being able to eat without bloaty distress. Maybe once my gallbladder-less self gets used to its new diet, says goodbye to some old food favorites (aloha soda, ice cream, and salami), I'll think about the other stuff. Or maybe not.

there are more things in heaven and earth ...

Yesterday my chiropractor, who is as much a naturopath as he is a chiropractor, performed an interesting test on me. He practices muscle testing, which "... involves testing the body’s responses when applying slight pressure to a large muscle, to provide information on energy blockages, the functioning of the organs, nutritional deficiencies, and food sensitivities, among other things. It can also be used to test the body’s responses to herbs and other remedies."

Like acupuncture, another practice that I know has helped me over the past few years, I'm not sure that I really understand how muscle testing works, but I have to admit that it does seem to point out some of my strengths and weaknesses. My gall bladder kept checking weak in muscle testing when my gastro-intestinal doctor continued to say my stomach pains must just be IBS. A CAT scan confirmed gallstones and a sonogram a gall bladder with a thickened wall, indicating that it hadn't worked correctly for a long time. Muscle testing seems closely tied to Traditional Chinese medicine, as my chiropractor tests a lot of acupuncture/meridian points.

Anyway, today he tested my scar - the incision site in my belly button where my gall bladder was removed. It tested weak - a "leakage" site - leakage of qi. He used a little device that had a laser light for a few moments on the scar and then tested me again and I tested strong.

I have always been attracted to alternative methods of medicine, to a whole body concept of healing as opposed to Western medicine's focus on the individual parts. Some may find these practices strange, too remote from what they are used to when they go to a doctor, but to quote Beetlejuice's Lydia Deetz, "I, myself, am strange and unusual."

Of course I choose to combine Eastern and Western practices. I did opt to have my gall bladder removed. But after a Western operation I see no harm, but instead great benefit, in Eastern and alternative therapies to help rebuild my strength. Western medicine basically gives you a script for pain killers and sends you on your way, not telling the patient that just because the operation was a one day in and out procedure that the burden of recovery would be on said patient. And that the healing time would not be "just a few days," but rather a few months.

Is my body no loger leaking qi? Only time will tell. But I have to admit that I find the idea of qi leakage points pretty fascinating.

to have the gall to ...

After today I may no longer have a gall bladder, but I'll always have gall.

gall - to have sufficient arrogance to do something.

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gall 1 (gôl)
n.
1. See bile.
2.
a. Bitterness of feeling; rancor.
b. Something bitter to endure: the gall of defeat.
3. Outrageous insolence; effrontery.
[Middle English, from Old English gealla, galla; see ghel-2 in Indo-European roots.]

. . .


gall (n.1)
"bile," O.E. galla (Anglian), gealla (W. Saxon) "gall, bile," from P.Gmc. *gallon- (cf. O.N. gall, O.S., O.H.G. galla, Ger. Galle), from PIE root *ghel- "gold, yellow, yellowish-green" (see Chloe). Informal sense of "impudence, boldness" first recorded American English 1882; but meaning "embittered spirit, rancor" is from c.1200, from the medieval theory of humors. Gall bladder recorded from 1670s.
gall (n.2)
"sore spot on a horse," O.E. gealla "painful swelling," from L. galla "gall, lump on plant," originally "oak apple," of uncertain origin. Perhaps from or influenced by gall (1) on notion of "poison-sore." Ger. galle, Du. gal also are from Latin.
gall (v.)
"to make sore by chafing," mid-15c., from gall (n.2). Earlier "to have sores, be sore" (early 14c.). Figurative sense of "harass, irritate" is from 1570s. Related: Galled; galling.