Excuse me, Would you please direct me to the library?
May I please have another cup of coffee?
Pardon me miss, how far is it from here to the station?
When a person is learning a foreign language, or a few helpful phrases before going on vacation to a foreign country, they generally learn sentences like the ones listed above. Polite phrases. If you are a stranger in a strange land and are not a master of the native tongue the least you can do is give it a try in the most polite way possible. But is it just traveler's Italian, French, Spanish, etc. that urges politesse? These conversational preambles also exist in English. Or should I say, "American." So why don't we use them anymore?Buenos dias.
Donde esta Susana?
Esta en la cocina?
I can't tell you the number of times that folks have come up to me while I am on the phone, or in conversation with someone else, and just launched into whatever is on their mind or about something they want, blah, blah, whatever.
Que voulez-vous?
Laissez-moi tranquille.
Is everyone in such a hurry? I thought we were south of the Mason-Dixon line in D.C. Take a breath and wait your turn. I wonder if I would have noticed this conversational erosion as much if I didn't have a five-year-old who does the same thing. But I can say to her that she needs to slow down and wait until it's her turn and Mommy is done talking. What do I say to the grown-ups?
Mi scusi.
Mi potrebbe dare alcune informazione?
Con molto piacere.
I really want to know when the baby boomers decided that being polite, even civil, was for the birds. My generation has its conversational issues, but even a "Hey dude," while heavy on the Keanu, is an acceptable preamble. Especially when compared to busting in mid-conversation to inanely ask about those TPS reports.
So what's a dude who hungers for a little polite conversation to do? Try to be polite, I guess and hope some bounces back.
Hello there. How are you? Very well, thanks, and you?
How was your weekend? Do you know the way to the dog races?
I think Susanna is in the kitchen.
4 comments:
Oui, et Sylvie est a la piscine! Eigth grade French. Rocl on!
I'll never forget
Vamos a las carreras de perros!
Yet I still haven't seen a dog race...
I wonder if the loss of conversational niceties is part of the general informalizing of our culture (which is really obvious here in Austin where people wear shorts and sandals EVerywhere, all year round). When it comes to clothes, I kind of like the trend -- I don't like dressing up much. But I feel the same as you about politeness in speech.
There's also a cognitive purpose to those phrases -- they warm up your brain to hear the content that comes after. They draw your focus. If someone just walks up and starts talking to me, I miss the first half of the sentence while my brain adjusts to the timbre of the person's voice and gets ready to take in what he or she is saying.
wow that's a really great point. There's someone at work who i swear would always be talking to me , starting in the middle of a sentence, sometimes even a paragraph! I've talked to her about it and she has slowed down and realizes that I need a moment to look up and tear myself away from something and focus.
I actually don't mind the informality of dress as much. My grandmother would be horrified, of course and my mother loves to say how when "she lived in NY" she wouldn't be caught dead going anywhere w/o her heels and red lipstick." Of course now that's switched to Reeboks and, I'm afraid, still red lipstick.
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