I need to clean up my act. Especially when I drive, I frequently find myself in a situation where I feel the need to comment about another driver's, in my mind, bad or dangerous decision on the road. I curse. And with a five year-old in the back seat, I then apologize and put out the lame comment that she should never use that word or phrase, and Mommy shouldn't either. A band-aid.It might be better in the long term to come up with some alternate phrasing. I don't see myself saying "shoot," or "dang," or "freakin'." I need something better than that. What about Muttley? In the cartoon "Wacky Races" from my childhood, there was a dog called Muttley, who was the sidekick to villain Dick Dastardly. He was frequently called upon to implement Dastardly's, well, dastardly plots to foil the other racers and their vehicles. Muttley was put upon by his master and sometimes could be heard to mutter "rassin' frassin' " under his breath to vent his frustrations. I think Yosemite Sam used to say it too. And maybe even the Jetson's Astro - I got sick of trying to translate his "Reorge!"
Maybe this could be my phrase and the kid's as well, because frustration and the need to vent will undoubtedly occur for both of us. A sort of alternative cursing, because I can't see myself not vocally expressing my frustrations. It doesn't have to be as colorful. Or I could just cuss in Italian. Any fun curse alternatives I need to add to my repertoire? Of course there's always authentic frontier gibberish...
4 comments:
I remember once, while visiting my family in Holland, seeing a talk show segment where a man earnestly argued that, since curse words were, after all, just words, you could substitute acceptable words for them. He suggested "rhododendron", as in "Oh, rhododendron!" One could just come up with a suite of alternatives ... needn't even be nonsense.
Also: read some Shakespeare. Remember in Midsummer Night's Dream? "You maid of hindering knot-grass. You bead. You Acorn!" I think he used "You canker blossom!" in the same play.
And then there's Boomhauer in King of the Hill. You know you've been watching that show too much when you understand what Boomhauer is saying without even thinking. But, of course, imitating him is not easy -- I've never managed it, myself.
My dad had some colorful substitutions, such as "fershliginer" to be used as, "What a fershliginer idiot." Hmmm. Not very effective, as you're still name-calling with idiot...I may have to give rhododendron a try. And I definitely need t o brush up my Shakespeare. "You Acorn!" Is fershliggining brilliant!
Is it really so awful for kids to hear the real words?
hopefully not, because she already has discovered my extensive vocabulary. I'm actually less concerned with my cursing per se, as opposed to name-calling, which i can be prone to under (driving) stress. The first is letting off steam, the second is negative...
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