Tuesday, October 07, 2008

life takes time

I am constantly trying to simplify my life. No, really. For someone who is constantly rushing (and constantly behind) it may appear on the surface, that I'm doing just the opposite.

I get up in the morning and go through my morning rituals: prepare breakfast, check the Weather Channel, wake up the kid, shower while she eats breakfast, brush teeth, get dressed, tell kid not to start playing before she gets dressed while I eat breakfast, get out the door, drive to her preschool, drop off, hugs, drive to parking garage, walk across Mall to work, hope boss doesn't notice I'm 10-15 minutes late (again), clean my work area, get to work, eat lunch, sometimes go to acupuncture, more work, pick up kid, drive home, get kid to take a bath while I prepare dinner and lunch/snack for next day, eat dinner, go on the computer, watch a little TV, relax/cuddle, read a book, get kid ready for bed, take a shower, do a journal entry, read a little, sleep, wake up next morning and do it all over again.

Is this the life I always dreamed of, or envisioned? Is it good or bad? Should I even be thinking of my life in such terms? Truth be told, amidst all those tasks, there are also some real opportunities for love, laughter and some deep thoughts, if I allow them to come. Work, although mostly a slog, can also sometimes allow for some creative thinking and doing. The kid and her friends frequently crack me up as I watch them interact. There are sometimes opportunities for outings with friends and family that can be added to the day's agenda. And don't ask me how it works, but acupuncture and weekly yoga sessions can really help me relax and feel like I'm doing something for myself.

Admittedly, I haven't found a slot yet for art-making (apart from what I do at work.) I need to get back to my own artwork. I think this blog may help me get back to that. I hope so. I guess I have been looking inward, rather than outward, but I'd like to change that, at least a little. For a brilliant perspective on this idea, check out this great post about David Foster Wallace.

As much as I grouse about what's going on in the world around me and the beyond-absurd turns and twists that politics has been taking, for the most part I feel quite positive. I think the world is actually going through a quite significant period. The real changes as a century turns always take a few years to hit, and I think they're hitting now, hard. It's time for a change, and I think we will get the one we really need. I have been changing myself and my life gradually, and I think it is all for the better. It isn't easy getting older, being a "grown-up," but it is worth it. There's a lot to enjoy about life. It just takes time sometimes to notice.


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