Friday, November 27, 2009

by heart

There are some movies that I find myself talking along with, the lines forever emblazoned upon my brain. Are they the greatest movies ever? Well in some cases they uncontestedly are (Singin' in the Rain, Young Frankenstein), and in some cases there are those who might argue the point (Wayne's World, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Clueless), but they are all precious to me.

Here's a mixed selection of great lines I'll never forget from some of the films listed above and a few other completely brilliant movies I purposely didn't mention, just to see if I can stump you.

Can you guess which film birthed which line?
And I cayn't stand'im.

So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so.

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

This is information retrieval not information dispersal.

Whatever I am, he made me! I was adorable once, young and full of hope. And now look at me! I'm this short, fat, insecure, middle-aged THING! I made you short?

"All we are is dust in the wind," dude.

You were having cheer-sex with him!
Can you get me off the hook, Tom? For old times' sake?

Parfait's gotta be the tastiest thing on the whole damn planet.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Does the word "duh" mean anything to you?

Go, and never darken my towels again.
Duke, let's go do some crimes. Yeah. Let's go get sushi and not pay.

I stick my neck out for *nobody*!

You're maudlin and full of self-pity. You're magnificent!

Why don't you just kill him? I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.
Chin up. Right, both of them.

If it's a concussion, you have to keep her conscious, okay? Ask her questions. What's seven times seven? Stuff she knows.

Then you and Victor were... YES. YES. Say it. He vas my... BOYFRIEND.

Come get your ice-cream! Come get your tootsie-frootsie ice cream!
Meet the greatest actor in the world! I'd rather kiss a tarantula. You don't mean that. I don't ?—Hey Joe, get me a tarantula.

Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

A wed wose. How womantic.

Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well.

Cindy, you know by tattling on your friends, you're really just tattling on yourself. By tattling on your friends, you're just telling them that you're a tattletale. Now, is that the tale you want to tell?

Oh Moses, Moses, you stubborn, splendid, adorable fool!

Where ever you go, there you are.

Hello? There was a stop sign. I totally paused.

I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.

Bogus. Heinous. Most non-triumphant.

Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape.

Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her. So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive? No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.

Gosh, you've... really got some nice toys here.

Alright, we have a piper who's down. It's alright, he's just pissed. We have a piper down, I repeat, a piper is down!

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

How's the Italian food in this restaurant? Good. Try the veal, it's the best in the city.




My! People come and go so quickly here!

It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever.

If I hold you any closer I'll be in back of you!
There is a name for you, ladies, but it isn't used in high society... outside of a kennel.

NO! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
Courtney, this is not a democracy, it's a cheerocracy. I'm sorry, but I'm overruling you.

Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Oh. Where you going?... Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you're out with the boys to boast and brag. YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Oh . . . I think I love him.

But, you're *not* a girl! You're a *guy*, and, why would a guy wanna marry a guy? Security!

HEED! PANTS! NOW!

I'm very, very aware... that you are seeing other agents. And I think it's good that you are. Finally, I mean it's healthy. But, this is the thing. If you decide to sign with me, you're gonna get more than an agent. You're gonna get three people. [Holds up four fingers] You're gonna get an agent, a mother, a father, a shoulder to cry on, someone who knows this business inside and out. And if anyone ever tries to cross you, I'll grab them by the balls and squeeze 'til they're dead.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking. . . Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking. . . Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. . . Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

You know how you said before, how your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn't I be outstanding in that capacity?

That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

How can I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this?

All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.

Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.

I don't know you. I don't know your work. But I think you are a genius. And I am never wrong about that.


Am I nuts? Something's wrong with his feet. I never thought I'd find myself saying this, but you're right. He's got two left feet.

Don't call me stupid. Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape? Apes don't read philosophy. Yes they do, Otto. They just don't understand it

Peanut butter, it just fills the cracks of the heart

Hans, Bubi, I'm your white knight!

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