I am really connecting to this book and her story, as I am about to leave a job after 10+ years and even though in my case it's voluntary, I have been having some adjustment issues as well. I guess you could say I am giving Slow Love a slow read.
I will undoubtedly write another update once I've finished Browning's book, but I wanted to share an "in-progress" report. It's too good a book not to share.
Browning was editor of House and Garden magazine for more than a decade. When the magazine was shut down in 2009, “I still would have been running, running, running for all I was worth, because I didn’t know any better. Most of us don’t. And all that racing around wasn’t all bad, either. It simply wasn’t sustainable. Or fulfilling.”
As she disconnects and reflects on her working life, Browning realizes how soul-sucking some of the most "fabulous" jobs can be, “There is no such thing as corporate camaraderie. ... No such thing as calling someone who knew the ropes to get advice; no such thing as a colleague to bounce ideas of of.”
She may realize that she is lucky to be off the hamster wheel, but she is having a terrible time adjusting to not having that place to go to every day. The only days that seem to give her solace in the beginnings of her out-of-work status are weekend days, “‘Today is Saturday. No one is working today, so you are no different from anyone else,’ I say out loud.”
She tries to fill her days with goals: Monday - milk, Tuesday - walk, etc., but she soon gives in to depression, “I begin to understand why adolescents tend not to follow the news. Life is hard enough, and it takes a mature strength of mind and character, both of which I am decidedly lacking, to handle what’s going on without the filters of self-esteem.”
She starts to wake up to life again, but becomes obsessive about food, especially cookies, which give her the sugar rush she needs. “Everyone knows that sugar is extremely useful for short-term bouts of happiness. Cookies are the most convenient little packages of pleasure ever invented.” When she can’t get to the bakery, she starts baking her own and collects recipes.
As she details her long-term relationship with an unavailable man I also couldn't help but connect. Haven't we all given our hearts, minds, and energies to someone who just couldn't give us as much back?
I can't wait to see how Browning really slows down her life, as I'm looking to do the same myself.
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