throw-back thursday: best movies ever — rear window

The recent Academy Awards have gotten me thinking about my all-time favorite films and that list inevitably includes more than a few titles by Alfred Hitchcock. It's hard to pick a favorite from so many great movies, but Rear Window has always been at the top of the list. Thinking about Hitchcock and Kim Novak makes me realize that I need to write about Vertigo, soon. But in the meantime, here is a post from 2012, one of Hitch's (and any) best movies ever — Rear Window.


I've always been a huge fan of Alfred Hitchcock's movies. Vertigo is probably the ultimate expression of his recurring themes of mistaken identity and the ultimate unattainable female. The Birds and Psycho are both terrific horror movies, depicting monsters from without and within. But Rear Window is not only a great artistic achievement, but it is also one of his most entertaining films.

Thelma Ritter, Grace Kelly and Jimmy Stewart look out the window, "I'm not much on rear window ethics."

The blatant voyeurism in Rear Window is the perfect metaphor for what it is to go to the movies. Hitchcock's hero, Jimmy Stewart, plays L. B. "Jeff" Jeffries, a photographer who specializes in far-flung travel and exciting assignments — the more remote and dangerous the better. But after deciding to shoot a high-speed auto race from within the track (and being hit by a race car and sidelined with a broken leg), the itinerant photographer is stuck, going stir crazy in his New York City one-bedroom apartment, during a long hot summer with nothing to do. He begins passing his time by spying on his neighbors for entertainment, through the zoom lens on his camera.

His visiting nurse Stella, played by Thelma Ritter, tells Jeff, "We've become a race of Peeping Toms." She is initially bothered by Jeff's curiosity, but luckily for the audience her own desire to know what's happening across Jeff's courtyard matches ours. She joins Jeff in watching the neighbors and even gives them nicknames, like "Miss Torso" and "Miss Lonelyhearts". Tuned in regularly to everyone's daily routines, Jeff begins to notice that one of the couples, a middle-aged husband and his bedridden wife, may be acting in a peculiar manner. "I've seen bickering and family quarrels and mysterious trips at night, and knives and saws and ropes, and now since last evening, not a sign of the wife. How do you explain that?"

Miss Lonelyhearts is an unhappy single woman who Jeff watches go on unsuccessful dates

Miss Torso

Stella and Jeff's girlfriend, Lisa Fremont, played to the hilt of 1950s allure by Grace Kelly, at first try to persuade Jeff that he is imagining things, but they can't help looking and getting caught up in all of the rear window dramas. It's all fun for Jeff, Lisa and Stella to play a guessing game of unraveling the mysteries of their neighbor's lives — until they realize that they have stumbled upon a murder, and then the game becomes deadly serious.

Middle-aged couple with dog they treat like a child

Middle-aged couple without dog or child - the Thorwalds

Hitchcock captures the close quarters that come with city living - the proximity, the curiosity, and the assumptions we make about our neighbors - the feeling that we "know" people that we have never spoken to simply because we see them every day. He created the entire apartment complex in a single set, complete with action on the street beyond Jeff's camera's line of sight. It's an amazing achievement. As he toldFrançois Truffaut, "It was a possibility of doing a purely cinematic film. You have an immobilized man looking out. That's one part of the film. The second part shows what he sees and the third part shows how he reacts. This is actually the purest expression of a cinematic idea."

Jeff's summer is spent sweltering while he watches his neighbors in the heat and intimacy of their lives. Lisa gently presses him to heat up their own relationship, while he continues to push her away, afraid of commitment and losing his life of adventure. In Jeff's eyes Lisa and he are completely mis-matched. Anyone looking out their rear window and in at them would see that she is perfect for him. Stewart and Kelly have wonderful chemistry.

The Sculptor

The Composer (with Hitchcock making his cameo, winding a clock)

The movie could be viewed as simply a suspense thriller with a romantic subplot and it would still be top-notch. But I see Rear Window as an elaborate mating ritual between Lisa and Jeff, with the emphasis on their romance and Jeff's fears about their future. I think Hitchcock is most interested in the interplay between all the couples, with the thriller plot a perfect structure to tell their stories of loneliness and search for love. Jeff is not only watching his neighbors from his window but trying on each of their identities as a possible outcome with Lisa.

"Miss Torso" and "Miss Lonelyhearts" are two extremes of the lives led by single women. A male songwriter and a female sculptor are each channeling their romantic energies into their art. There are three couples - the young sex-crazed newlyweds; a couple, not far from the age of Jeff and Lisa, but whose lives are distinctly less glamorous, with a dog they treat as their baby; and Lars Thorwald (Raymond Burr) and his nagging, bedridden wife - the couple no one would want to become but Jeff fears he and Lisa might.

The Newlyweds

As Jeff tries to decide which of these scenarios best fit his romance with Lisa, she decides to toss out all of Jeff's potential relationship stereotypes, and goes into action. She enters his view by leaving the apartment and their theorizing behind and crossing the courtyard to actually investigate. "Why would Thorwald want to kill a little dog? Because it knew too much?" She proves herself as adventurous and risk-taking (if not more so) than Jeff, by sneaking into Thorwald's apartment and stealing Mrs. Thorwald's wedding ring, helping to prove Jeff's theories about the woman's murder and symbolically securing a ring for herself and Jeff.

Jeff becomes so wrapped up in watching the drama being played out, so excited by her audacity, that even when Lisa puts herself in an extremely dangerous situation, he can't keep himself from looking. And neither can we. The only thing that finally breaks his view out the window is when Thorwald himself comes over for a visit ...

Rear Window is just as thrilling to watch today as it must have been when it was initially released in 1954. Hitchcock uses the murder mystery format to tell deeper stories about loneliness, city life, fears of intimacy, and the good and bad places where love might lead. No matter what your views are on "rear window ethics" as Lisa refers to them, the viewer will be immensely grateful that Alfred Hitchcock created this glimpse into others' lives, before the neighbors got wise and pulled the curtains.

François Truffaut, Alfred Hitchcock, Helen G. Scott, "Hitchcock", Google Books

Previously published on Yahoo!

This is the another in a series on some of my all-time favorite movies. Feel free to comment or share some of your favorites in the comments.

kim novak's face

There has been a lot of internet snarking about the appearance of Kim Novak at Sunday's Oscars (as well as many other enhanced Hollywood stars). I have to admit that I was a little taken aback at first (and second and third) glance as well. Kim Novak is one of my style icons. Her beauty is legendary. But the more I looked at 81 year-old Kim the less I felt that her frozen facial appearance could all be put down to misplaced vanity and Botox. Kim has had a rough time over the last few years.

Kim Novak at The Oscars last Sunday

With Jimmy Stewart and "Pyewacket" in Bell, Book, and Candle

In Vertigo

In 2000, her home was partially damaged by fire, and the next year it was burglarized. In 2006, she was badly injured in a horse riding accident, with a punctured lung, broken ribs, and nerve damage. In 2010 she was diagnosed with breast cancer, but has since been declared cancer-free. She most definitely has had some work done, but her jaw and face had a puffy look that might also be the result of certain medications. Is it fair to hold her up as a victim of bad plastic surgery, like the unkind Donald Trump did publicly, without all the information? Is it fair or even decent to snark about an 81 year-old actress's looks at all?

It was clear Sunday night that Kim Novak felt a little shaky, and her co-presenter Matthew McConnaughey very kindly and gallantly seemed to buoy her up through their time on stage. It would be nice if fans of Hollywood actors and movies could do the same.

oscar congrats all around

Some may have found last night's Oscar telecast a little tame or subdued. Or even boring. But I think it was more a reflection of a desire (and need) for Hollywood to lighten up, and that the nominees were all pretty deserving. Honestly, anyone could have won and it wouldn't have been considered an upset.

Ellen Degeneres was the perfect host  for such a laid-back, upbeat vibe. She only made a few real digs, in her opening monologue, at Jonah Hill and Liza Minnelli, and while those might have been a bit more acidic than her usual shtick, they were also understood to be good-natured ribbing. The rest of the time she tried to get a rise out of the usually stiff celebrities, by corralling A-listers in a goofy record-breaking selfie, and ordering pizza for the first two rows of the tuxedo and bejeweled crowd.

The selfie tweeted 'round the world

Favorite moments:

Pharrell Williams's opening number, "Happy." The multi-talented Pharrell got the audience on their feet in the theater, and (at least here) at home, too. Pharrell also helped showcase another of Meryl Streep's hidden talents (around the one-minute mark of the video below).


There were quite  few more-entertaining-than-usual acceptance speeches, from Best Actress Winner Cate Blanchett, Best Supporting Actor Winner Jared Leto, Best Supporting Actress Winner Lupita N'yongo, and Best Actor Winner Matthew McConnaughey.

There has to be one completely weird and inexplicable moment, and John Travolta obliged, with his strange introduction of "Adele Dazeem" singing "Let It Go" from Frozen. The crowd watched in confusion as Broadway veteran Idina Menzel, who performed the song in the movie as well took the stage. Travolta introduced himself as a big fan of musicals, which made the gaffe even more bizarre. The song was the Oscar winner, too.

Bill Murray's sly, slipped-in tribute to the fabulous Harold Ramis was also a high point. Ellen's celebrity-pack selfie was fun (and it's already generated a web page where one can insert oneslef into the mob), but this image from the red carpet is my favorite of the night.

Cumberbatch photobomb — say that three times quickly

Congratulations to all.

oscar fashion

This cute graphic created by London agency Mediarun Digital of every dress worn by the Best Actress Academy Award winners throughout the years has been all over the internets.

I especially like 1930 (Mary Pickford), 1938 (Luise Rainer),  and 1940 (Vivien Leigh).

As far as tonight's award show goes, I have to admit that I'm a lot less interested in the potential fashions to be worn by this years crop of nominees. What I have been wondering (and I'm sure I'm not alone in this) is what hat will Pharrell Williams wear?

Look out fashion gods, here he comes ...

favorite song friday: this year's oscar-nomnated songs

The obvious frontrunner is "Let It Go," from Frozen, written by Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez and recorded by both Idina Menzel and Demi Lovato. Menzel will perform the song at the Oscars.

"The Moon Song," from Her, by Yeah Yeah Yeahs frontwoman Karen O.


"Ordinary Love," from Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom, by U2 (already won a Golden Globe).


And the song I'll be rooting for, and which I can never get enough of, "Happy," from the Despicable Me 2, by Pharrell Williams.

of boobs and oscars

The internet is still buzzing about last Sunday's Oscars and host Seth MacFarlane's very un-PC sense of humor. After the fact, seeing the jokes in B&W, there is no denying that many were tasteless. But the majority of the outcry regards the jokes sexist or racist nature. I consider myself a feminist, and I watched the whole thing (OK I did nod off somewhere in the middle there for about twenty minutes), and I don't remember being outraged or offended. I even laughed, quite a few times. Bad feminist, or just not so touchy?

MacFarlane seemed happiest during the musical numbers, here with Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron, from Variety

On the sexist front, the main bone of contention seems to be his "We Saw Your Boobs" musical number, where MacFarlane sang through a list of famous actresses (many of them nominees that evening) who have appeared topless in the movies. It seems to have escaped many folks' notice that most of the actresses he mentioned in the song had pre-taped audience reaction shots. So they were not only in on, but willing to be a part of the joke. That they might even have a sense of humor about themselves. Does no one else watch the red carpet stuff? That was not Jennifer Lawrence or Charlize Theron live, people.

I suppose he could have done a short list (get it) of actors who have gone full-frontal, but isn't that sort of the teasing point of the song? Actresses are expected to strip on film. Their amazing acting abilities aside, there are not many who have not been asked to film a nude scene. Most comply. Is that right? Well, such a question certainly won't be answered by a silly song, but it makes this feminist curious — why isn't this question of expected female nudity on film being asked over and over again, instead of all the haranguing about MacFarlane. In an almost perfect illustration of how actresses are on display, Best Supporting Actress nominee (and later winner) Anne Hathaway showed up to the big show with a headlights-on number that challenged any viewer to look above her neck during her acceptance speech or any other time during the broadcast. She showed us her boobs and then some.

I think what bugs me most about the after-the-fact outrage is how naive some of it sounds. Jane Fonda, who presented the Best Director award with Michael Douglas near the tail end of the show, has publicly stated that MacFarlane's jokes contained, "Way too much stuff about women and bodies, as though that's what defines us." Ummm, Jane, this is Hollywood, the movies. Yes, women want to, and should be able to, have the opportunity to show that there is much going on inside of them, that we are smart and feeling beings, but it is also completely ridiculous to pretend that what one looks like is not 90% of the acting business. And that playing with one's looks, taking the body to extremes, as Anne Hathaway and many other male and female actors have done before her, is also very intriguing — to not just the public, but especially to the Academy at awards time.

As for MacFarlane's alleged racism, being a white girl I'm not in the best position to comment. The most inflammatory joke of the evening was probably his crack about Rihanna and Chris Brown, when he introduced Django Unchained with, "This is the story of a man fighting to get back his woman, who's been subjected to unthinkable violence. Or as Chris Brown and Rihanna call it, a date movie." It was inappropriate, tacky, and really had no place in an Oscar monologue — he should have considered his audience. Actually, it would have been just as poor a choice to make at the Grammy's or anywhere else. Boo. I'd like to hear Quentin Tarantino's take on it. But mostly, like most clunkers and tasteless remarks, I hope to never hear it again.

McFarlane was an odd choice to host, for sure. The Oscars have been trying to update themselves for years, to no avail. As long as the show continues to insist on televising countless technical awards that the majority of the viewing public could care less about, it will never be able to be hip or thrilling to watch. All of the parsing of MacFarlane's jokes doesn't seem to be serving anyone. Little Quvenzhané Wallis's family have had to hear over and over again how her name was used as a stale punch line, "To give you an idea of how young she is, it'll be 16 years until she's too old for [George] Clooney." Hopefully all of this negative attention will not tarnish how she or her family feels about her status as the youngest-ever Oscar nominee.

So many of MacFarlane's jokes seemed to be not just tasteless, but sort of old-fashioned. Did Don Rickles help him write them? But I doubt his career will be adversely affected. I do wonder — as damage control — is the Academy already looking to book Billy Crystal for next year?

and the winners were ...

I predicted at the beginning of February who I thought would win. Here's how my picks stacked up to the actual winners. I only did the major awards and ones that interested me. I've put the winners in bold and my original predictions in a smaller font below.Tom Hanks opened up the proceeding by presenting two important technical awards, cinematography and art direction:


I was right - Hugo took it home! This is a big vote of confidence for 3D too, I'm afraid. Cinematography- I'm thinking Hugo will take home the prize, but this is one of the categories that The Tree of Life might win. (The Artist, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Hugo, The Tree of Life, War Horse)

Hugo - Right again! Hopefully Scorsese will do more films like Hugo in the future.
Art Direction - Hugo will probably win. The sets of the train station and the recreations of Georges Méliès's films were amazing. The Academy doesn't seem to take Harry Potter seriously. (The Artist, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, War Horse)

Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez presented the awards for costume design:

I'm on a roll, but The Artist was an obvious choice. 
Costume Design - The Artist will probably (and deservedy) win this one, too. (Anonymous, The Artist, Hugo, Jane Eyre, W.E.)

Christian Bale presented the best supporting actress award:

My first miss and no surprise, the deserving Octavia Spencer won.
Actress In a Supporting Role - I would love the award to go to Melissa McCarthy. C'mon Academy, comedians are best actors, too. Bejo was adorable in The Artist, but it wasn't really an Oscar-worthy performance. (Bérénice Bejo, Jessica Chastain, Melissa McCarthy, Janet McTeer, Octavia Spencer)

A very funny Chris Rock presented best animated feature film:

Rango - Yay!
Animated Feature Film - I'm sure Rango will win, which was fun and beautiful to look at. I absolutely LOVE that Puss was nominated and am not upset that Tintin wasn't. (A Cat in Paris, Chico & Rita, Kung Fu Panda 2, Puss in Boots, Rango)

Ben Stiller and Emma Stone presented best visual effects. These two may have to team up on something in future:

I'm so glad to be wrong about this one - Hugo won again!

Visual Effects - The Apes will probably get this one, although Andy Serkis should have been in one of the acting categories. C'mon, already. (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, Hugo, Real Steel, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Transformers: Dark of the Moon)


Melissa Leo present the best supporting actor:

Christopher. Plummer. Now that's how you do an acceptance speech.
Actor In a Supporting Role - This had better be Christopher Plummer. Period. (Kenneth Branagh, Jonah Hill, Nick Nolte, Christopher Plummer, Max von Sydow)

Penelope Cruz and Owen Wilson presented best original score:

Yep, The Artist, which makes sense, as music was uber-important for a silent film.
Music (Original Score) - There has been a lot of controversy over the use of a part of Bernard Herrmann's score for Vertigo in The Artist, but it will still probably win. (The Adventures of Tintin, The Artist, Hugo, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, War Horse)

Clad in white tails and ... cymbals, Will Ferrel and Zach Can'tEvenPronounceHisOwnName presented the best song:

Man or Muppet won! As funny as Will and Zach were, I was still hoping for a live performance from Jason Segel.

Music (Original Song) - "Man or Muppet" was the highlight of The Muppets. I'm hoping Jason Segel and Walter perform it live. It must win. ("Man or Muppet" from The Muppets, “Real in Rio” from Rio)

Angelina Jolie showed us how high the slit on her gown went as she struck a pose and presented best adapted screenplay and best original screenplay:

The Descendants won - I sure didn't call that one.
Writing (Adapted Screenplay) - I would really like Moneyball to win this one. Team Brad. (The Descendants, Hugo, The Ides of March, Moneyball, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy)

Midnight in Paris! I'm very happy for Woody.
Writing (Original Screenplay) - It's hard going up against the Woodman, but I'd love the gals from Bridesmaids to take this one. (The Artist, Bridesmaids, Margin Call, Midnight in Paris, A Separation)

The ladies from Bridesmaids ("Scorsese!" Gulp) presented best animated short film:

SO happy about this one - The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore!

Short Film (Animated) - The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore is simply fantastic and should take the prize. (Dimanche/Sunday, The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore, La Luna, A Morning Stroll, Wild Life)

Michael Douglas, looking very good indeed, presented the best director award:

Sorry Scorsese (Drink!), it was Michel Hazanavicius, director of The Artist, who thanked the crazy producer who put money in the film. Love the French.
Directing - This is not only the most accessible, but the best Scorsese film in quite a while. (The Artist, The Descendants, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, The Tree of Life)

Natalie Portman, looking lovely in a red dress with a polka dot pattern (unusual for an Oscar gown), presented the best actor award:

But of course, Jean Dujardin! Sorry, Bradster.

Actor In a Leading Role - I would love for Gary Oldman to win this. The Academy may surprise us, but I think (hope) it's going to be Pitt, not Clooney. Brad was excellent as Billy Bean and he also helped get the picture made. His biggest competition is Jean Dujardin, who was also wonderful. If he wins it, The Artist will probably sweep. (Demián Bichir, George Clooney, Jean Dujardin, Gary Oldman, Brad Pitt)

The fabulous Colin Firth presented the best actress Oscar:

Meryl won, with a standing ovation and the perfect gold gown to match her Oscar statuette. Clearly she really wanted to win. Plus, she thanked her hubby first, which was nice.
Actress In a Leading Role - I hope it's Michelle Williams, even though everyone is saying it should be Meryl. But I am against a movie that in any way celebrates Thatcher. And Meryl can suck it up. She'll get many more opportunities. Glenn Close may be brilliant in her cross-dressing film, but it's a vanity production that not many will want to see. But Viola Davis may be a surprise winner. Rooney is being honored for a great performance, but won't win. (Glenn Close, Viola Davis, Rooney Mara, Meryl Streep, Michelle Williams)


Tom Cruise presented the best director Oscar:


Only the second silent film to win Best Picture (Wings did, in 1929) The Artist was the big winner.


Best Picture - The Artist - The shoo-in. It's adorable and upbeat, which is the only thing it has going against it, as the Academy tends to favor dramas with a capital "D." But it's a phenomenon and should still win. (The Descendants, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, The Help, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, Moneyball, The Tree of Life, War Horse)


Actually I did pretty well, calling all but a few. So what do I win?

Related articles

• Oscar! Oscar! Oscar! (blogher.com)

at the movies

Once upon a time I was well-versed in the world of new releases. Even if I only went out of my way to see a few of them, I was aware of pretty much every movie that was out or coming out. Of course, living in New York City made the pursuit of my enthusiasm easier. Everything comes to New York. Even the tiny little art film. But times change—especially after one has a child. It's hard to schedule seeing a movie—or to justify the expense with my single mom's salary. With the cost of a babysitter and the movie ticket (and what about a soda or possible treat?) it has seemed less and less of an imperative to see things first-run. Car payment or Sherlock Holmes, Star Trek or Avatar? I'm already paying for cable, so . . .

Just this year I was able to take my daughter to a few films (Up, Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief) and not have to make numerous bathroom runs, or watch her fall asleep, or have to shush her every few scenes. The only movie I saw on my own was the latest Harry Potter. That was this year, right? I get to see most everything I want on-demand at some point anyway. Do you notice a trend? It's not that I don't like the more "quiet" films, but when I do go out to the theater and spend the money, it's usually to see the bigger, more visual films. More bang for my limited bucks.

I used to (co)host semi-elaborate Oscar parties, with ballots and wonderful themed prizes. Who knows. Maybe some day again. Out of force of habit or maybe an enduring love of Steve Martin I found myself checking in and watching some of the telecast last night. What always drew me to the show as a child and still does is of course watching the fashions on the red carpet. But the endless shilling of designer names and jewelry has become a bore. Who cares? It's been said a million times already, but where are Cher or Bjork when you need them? And will someone tell Miley Cyrus to stand up straight? She's too young for the slopey shoulders. Leave it to Robert Downey Jr. to be the most dapper by virtue of some blue-tinted shades. And Ben Stiller successfully silly with some blue-tinted skin and a fishing pole (way better than the proposed Sasha Baron Cohen shtick). And it's always fun to see Steve Martin in bed with another man. He and Alec Baldwin make a cute couple . . . of hosts.

This year I am watching the Oscars as a checklist of films that I will soon be watching on cable. Looking interesting: An Education, Crazy Heart, District 9, Inglourious Basterds, Julie & Julia. I suspect that I am not that different from most folks. The Oscars, beyond anything else, has always functioned as advertising for plenty of films that were just missed by most the first time around. As much as I still enjoy movies, I guess I just don't take them as seriously anymore. Or at least I'm less worried about seeing them when they first come out, when everyone else does. If they actually do—I have no sense from my coworkers if they are seeing all the new movies. There isn't much water cooler talk. Facebook and twitter have replaced all that.

Just a few quick observations. The show is always so god-awful long, so why cut people off mid-speech? But meanwhile they can still fit in meaningless film montages (horror movies?) And why was everyone so serious during Steve & Alec's opening tag-team monologue? George Clooney and Matt Damon, get over yourselves. At least Sandra Bullock and Meryl Streep can laugh at themselves. The clips of those who died last year was as touching as ever. That's the only montage I ever think is worth the screen time.

If I don't make it to the end of the show I can catch the jokes I missed on YouTube tomorrow. But I give team Steve and Alec a thumbs up. Colin Farrell's, Michelle Pfeiffer's, Oprah Winfrey's and Stanley Tucci's best actor and actress intros were so fun I didn't really care about the winners (but yay—the DUDE won!) I think Sandra Bullock was genuinely shocked and probably lost money in her Oscar pool. Pretty cool Kathryn Bigelow got her award from Babs. I'm also happy to see LOST's Michael Giacchino won an award for Up, because the music was a wonderful and integral part of that little gem, which also won best animated film. Hey, I did see a winner this year.

worst movies ever?

Watching the Oscars the other night made me think of how many hours I have spent watching movies. Some have been entertaining, even transforming, but admittedly, there are some hours of my life spent in front of the large, or even small, screen that I will never get back. So I thought a little 'worst movies ever' meme might be called for.

My list isn't really about the Battleship Earth sort of disaster. Or film critics' consensus. These are movies that I went into the theater to see, with high hopes that were dashed, or petered out, slowly and painfully.

Amusingly, I realize, after starting this list, that for many, these films might show up on their "best" lists. To each his own. In no particular order:

Suburbia was incomprehensible, but even worse, boring as the suburban hell it sought to depict.

Lawrence of Arabia, I know, is a classic. I sat through the whole damn thing and learned nothing about T.H. Lawrence except that an extremely long film was made about him and to be sure to pee before you stake out your seat in the theater, because it's a long time until intermission. I will say that the one bright spot in my memory of this film was a scene where the blue of Peter O'Toole's eyes and the blond of his hair matched the desert sky and sand perfectly.

Matrix 3. Whatever. I love the blank beauty that is Keanu, but I couldn't take this mess.

Anything by Kenneth Branagh post Emma Thompson. Let's face it, he hasn't done anything good in a long, long time. Frankenstein? Any of his Shakespeare bowdlerizations?

Seabiscuit. Just shoot the damn horse or shoot me, because I can't take this one more minute. Except I had to, because I was on vacation, trapped in a movie theater with my whole family who thought it would be "fun" to see this slow-motion torture. They liked it.

I was given The English Patient on video because the person gifting was sure I'd love it. I tried to watch it more than once and fell asleep every time before the "must see" scene - something with beautiful wall paintings. I refuse to make another attempt.

2001 A Space Odyssey. I know, I know. But I'm sorry, except for a little of the monkeys in the beginning and HAL at the end this is just one long suck. I remember being so excited as a kid when this came to the local movie theater. After a lackluster viewing, I figured I just didn't get it. Years later, still don't get what all the fuss is about. I've heard that it's better if you read the Arthur C. Clarke book. Except it's a movie and should work without a text.

Forget Divine Brown. Nine Months is dumbest thing Hugh Grant ever did in Hollywood.

Dune. Even Sting in a leather bikini can't save this. Or sink it. It's just too awful.

So there's ten (counting two Branaghs) for starters. Any "great" films you wish you never saw?

oscar, oscar, oscar

I used to give Oscar parties. Actually, it was sort of a tradition that my friends (and I) would look forward to. When my movie-buff friend Mary and I would co-host the party, sometimes things could get quite elaborate, with fancy ballots and cool prizes. We would theme the party to coincide with the fabulous movie-related gift. One year the prize was an authentic vintage 1960s James Bond (Sean Connery, of course) action figure, in white tux jacket, with Beretta. I have to admit that I won that year and still have my gift in his original packaging.

As interested in watching and critiquing movies as I am, since I've had my daughter my movie going has dropped to almost nil. I used to at least keep up with everything new coming out, whether I chose to see it or not. Now the kid is telling me, "Look, The Tale of Despereaux!" when she sees an ad on television or in a bus kiosk. Of course we usually don't end up going, because she still isn't really old enough to enjoy the movie experience - even kid movies in the theater seem to be a fidget-fest or an invitation to nap. So I end up scheduling the rare film viewing that I simply must see on my day off. I finally get around to seeing the ones that I might have seen in first-run when they hit cable. If I can stay up that late...

Last night as I watched the Oscars, as much for the gowns (as always) as the random flashes of humor (Steve Martin and a very wicked Ben Stiller), I realized that there was one nominated movie that I had seen last year. Kung Fu Panda.