
My list isn't really about the Battleship Earth sort of disaster. Or film critics' consensus. These are movies that I went into the theater to see, with high hopes that were dashed, or petered out, slowly and painfully.
Amusingly, I realize, after starting this list, that for many, these films might show up on their "best" lists. To each his own. In no particular order:
Suburbia was incomprehensible, but even worse, boring as the suburban hell it sought to depict.

Matrix 3. Whatever. I love the blank beauty that is Keanu, but I couldn't take this mess.
Anything by Kenneth Branagh post Emma Thompson. Let's face it, he hasn't done anything good in a long, long time. Frankenstein? Any of his Shakespeare bowdlerizations?
Seabiscuit. Just shoot the damn horse or shoot me, because I can't take this one more minute. Except I had to, because I was on vacation, trapped in a movie theater with my whole family who thought it would be "fun" to see this slow-motion torture. They liked it.
I was given The English Patient on video because the person gifting was sure I'd love it. I tried to watch it more than once and fell asleep every time before the "must see" scene - something with beautiful wall paintings. I refuse to make another attempt.

Forget Divine Brown. Nine Months is dumbest thing Hugh Grant ever did in Hollywood.
Dune. Even Sting in a leather bikini can't save this. Or sink it. It's just too awful.
So there's ten (counting two Branaghs) for starters. Any "great" films you wish you never saw?