Friday, March 04, 2011

goodbye, charlie

Article first published as Goodbye, Charlie on Blogcritics.

I am not fond of watching trainwrecks. I don't follow gossip sites. But the walking self-destruction machine that is Charlie Sheen is pretty hard to avoid these days. The guy shouldn't be pandered to by the media, but his off-the-wall declarations have started a new cottage industry in the internets - his quotes translated to New Yorker cartoons, cats, even baby sloths.
Chuck Lorre vanity cardsTwo and A Half Men

But beyond all the hype and the misery that is sure to follow, there is something that Charlie has said that has given me pause. Beyond pissed off that the show producers dare to think that he isn't well enough to film, he is demanding a raise from what he makes now, about $2 million an episode, to $3 million. “Look what they put me through ... I’m underpaid right now, sure ... When you look at the money they’re making, it’s ridiculous.”

It's hard to wrap my mind around it. Charlie Sheen has been making $2 million dollars an episode for Two and a Half Men. I've never seen the show. I can barely watch ads for it. I don't know anyone who has seen it. Or admits to watching it. Do you? Two and a Half Men, in its eighth year on television has already filmed sixteen episodes. Who on this planet, tiger blood or not, deserves to make $2 million dollars for just part of a yearly job that they do? Seriously. Are lives being saved? We know it might just be the opposite.

$2 million dollars. $2 million dollars. $2 million dollars. What's the national debt again? $2 million dollars. $2 million dollars. $2 million dollars. ...

Thursday, March 03, 2011

tall tales and wonders galore

Article first published as Book Review: Galore by Michael Crummey on Blogcritics.

Michael Crummey's Galore is a magical roundelay of stories and characters, historical and fantastical. It opens with a mysterious man found in the belly of a whale, and goes full-speed from there, sketching the harsh life to be had from trying to make a living from the sea. Life and death viscerally cycles round and round, with echoes biblical and poetic through the rest of the book.

The novel is set in a wild, cold Newfoundland, where it never seems to be summer, the temperature always cold and wet, with snow on the ground, a fireplace burning, ice on the water nearby. The book also seems out of time, as the tales told wind through multiple generations of two families, the Sellers and the Devines.

Beached Whale - Jacob Matham 1602

Their stories aren't anchored in any century until the last third of the book, and the reader may be disappointed to find real events encroaching on this fabulous fairytale. The kaleidoscopic nature of Galore may be best encapsulated by this passage, " 'Now the once,' she said. It was the oddest expression he'd learned on the shore. Now the once. The present twined with the past to mean soon, a bit later, some unspecified point in the future. As if it was all the same finally, as if time was a single moment endlessly circling on itself."

The way people talk, both in local dialect and Irish-inflected, gives the book a unique flavor. Galore is constructed of many anecdotes and tall tales, told out of sequence. The overall effect is as if you were at someone's family dinner table listening to old family scandals which grow more and more outlandish as the wine flows throughout the evening.

And as there are multiple characters with multiple points of view, there are also multiple ways to tell the same story, “It was called the French cemetery, King-me told him, because the first people buried there were sailors drowned when a French ship wrecked on the Tolt a hundred years before. Or because the land once belonged to a man named French who buried a wife and child during a typhoid outbreak before he was cut down himself. Sellers seemed to have no idea which story was the true source of the name and no obvious preference for one over the other.”

Canadian poet and novelist Crummey cites One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez as an influence, and Galore is definitely a distant cousin of that classic of magical realism. But there was something about Galore that drew me in a little more deeply than Marquez and his characters, the Buendías. The characters of Galore are numerous and so deftly and economically drawn, one would think that it would be hard to connect with any one individual, but there are stand-outs, who manage to draw you in and enchant you and wish for more — Bride, Dr. Newman, and Abel quickly became favorite characters. It's a book one would pick up again, to get reacquainted with old friends.

A Trew Draught of the Whale as he was seen at Blackwall-Dock 1690

The author spent time compiling folktales and interviewing Newfoundlanders to find inspiration for the family sagas which incorporate superstitions, both religious and supernatural, that are depicted in Galore. "Every Newfoundland outport has at least one story of a dead man sitting up in his coffin during the wake or at the funeral. Usually it’s offered up as simple fact, with a ‘can you believe that’ shake of the head. ... In the isolated rural and oral culture of outport Newfoundland, the line between life and death, between the real and the otherworldly, is more porous than most of us are used to. And that makes all kinds of outlandish notions seem perfectly likely. Ghosts and fairies, spells and charms and curses, prayers and folk cures."

Galore also focuses on the religious and the profane, taking delight in contrasting the struggles of the shore inhabitants, feuding English Protestants and Irish Catholics, dealing with their pride and baser natures. Possibly the basest nature of them all belongs to one of the more memorable characters, the defrocked priest, Father Phelan, " 'It’s like in the Book of Job,' Jabez suggested to Father Phelan. 'God sends trials to test us.' 'God is a miserable bastard,' the priest said."

The word galore derives from the Irish go leòr meaning enough, plenty. It seems a perfect, yet contradictory word to describe this wonderful book and its memorable characters. A circle within a circle. And I'm looking forward to reading it again, now the once.



Book #11 in reading challenge Cannonball Read 3, sponsored by Pajiba

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

happy birthday Dr. Seuss

My personal favorite has always been The Sneetches

Now, the Star-Bell Sneetches had bellies with stars.
The Plain-Belly Sneetches had none upon thars.
Those stars weren’t so big. They were really so small.
You might think such a thing wouldn’t matter at all.


But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches
Would brag, “We’re the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches.”
With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they’d snort
“We’ll have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!”
And, whenever they met some, when they were out walking,
They’d hike right on past them without even talking.

When the Star-Belly children went out to play ball,
Could a Plain Belly get in the game? Not at all.
You only could play if your bellies had stars
And the Plain-Belly children had none upon thars.


When the Star Belly Sneetches had frankfurter roasts
Or picnics or parties or marshmallow toasts,
They never invited the Plain-Belly Sneetches
They left them out cold, in the dark of the beaches.
They kept them away. Never let them come near.
And that’s how they treated them year after year.

But don't worry, Dr. Seuss won't leave the Plain-Bellies out in the cold ...

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

the little girls understand

Article first published as Movie Review: Justin Bieber: Never Say Never on Blogcritics.



I was telling myself that taking my daughter to Justin Bieber: Never Say Never in 3D was proof of my undying love for her. And I do love my kid. But truth be told, it was actually entertaining, even for a mostly uninitiated adult. Bieber has a natural musical talent and his family has been videotaping him from an early age, so the filmmakers found it easy to supply the documentary evidence. The film was directed by Step Up 3D's Jon Chu, but only the concert scenes had any real 3D action, with the rest of the film containing documentary-style clips or interspersed with the family's fuzzy-quality home video. The episodic 3D actually works, as the moments when Justin reaches out to the audience give the little girls a surprise and an extra opportunity to squeal. And there were some squealers in the audience, as well as some dancing in the aisles towards the end. Ah, youth.

The film is structured like pretty much every rock documentary. Some "origins of the band" material (in Bieber's case, maybe more baby photos than most), a crisis (what will the doctor say about his vocal chords?), celebrity endorsements (Usher, Snoop Dogg) and plenty of concert footage. It's interesting that Bieber has come up at a time in pop music when he can fully embrace all musical genres, including hip hop, yet not be another Vanilla Ice. Stars like Usher and Ludacris not only endorse but embrace the kid. His personal road to stardom is also cleverly contrasted and combined with other young stars like Miley Cyrus and Jaden Smith, who got their careers jump-started through nepotism and the Disney machine.

I can't say that any of the songs stayed with me except "Baby," but that's probably because I had heard it so many times before. I'm not sure why synchronized cheerleading dance moves are still de riguer for every popular musical artist—isn't anyone else as sick of that as I am yet?—but Bieber dances and  moonwalks cheerfully and the little girls go wild.


As much as Bieber owes his fame to the power of social media and young girls' allowances, it was surprising to me to learn how much anti-Bieber buzz there is to be found on media sites, both in articles and comments. And that's even before the Rolling Stone interview came out, with questions that seemed set up to make the kid trip over himself. Seriously, does anyone, apart from his core audience, who are probably not Rolling Stone subscribers, care to hear a seventeen year-old's political and cultural opinions?

It's hard to understand why so many people's panties get in a twist about this kid. He's talented, he's cute, and he's completely age-appropriate for his demographic. Why do adults feel that girls are plain silly or crazy to like him? They obviously don't know or haven't recently spent much time with little girls, who are plain silly and for the most part, like things that are pink and glittery and cute. Bieber is all of the above. There's nothing wrong with girls having crushes on a "safe" idol. They're not ready for much more at their age, and as their idol grows, so will they. They will either grow out of him, or grow with him. Bieber's in a similar situation to a young Michael Jackson. Jackson and his fans grew up together. Bieber could either follow in his footsteps or, if the pop idol scene wanes for him, he is talented and driven enough to become a producer or some other music professional. After watching this film it is clear that he's definitely going to be in the music business for a long time.

Waiting for the Bieber

The kid smiles a lot, but his puppy-dog cutes can't hide the fact that he is very driven and dedicated. Footage features a young child barely big enough to sit on the drum kit stool, intermixed with street corner busking in Canada, and current-day dance-move rehearsal in front of the mirror before a show. It's all the same kid, trying to perfect his moves, going for brass ring after ring. As much as the film tries to give a step-by-step of how Bieber broke through to the big time, it might gloss over the sheer ambition that is matched with the talent. Yet he still seems a pretty normal kid. Sure hope he stays that way.
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