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LOST: as much as everything (and I mean everything) and everyone are finally all coming together, if not in one place, at least in one episode, the only way to sort out last night's episode is to write about the separate factions separately. So let's start with . . .

Smokey's camp:

Smokey wants the remaining six candidates off the Island. My interpretation—he wants them dead, so no new Jacob, no Island, no prison. If I'm right, then the Sideways world is actually "hell," with Smokey on the loose. He tries his twinkle smile magic on Jin, who isn't buying any. He checks in with his main evil crew, reassuring Claire that whatever happens, happens to Kate—after she gets the rest of the candidates to come with him. He chats with Sayid, who doesn't feel anything—happy, sad, etc., etc., and feels confused about it. Smokey tells him maybe it's best, instead of the truth, "You're a frickin' zombie, dude! Deal with it." He gives Kate and Sawyer and the rest of the cannon fodder a wide berth, striding off into the jungle, in pursuit of the other Kwon.




Widmore's flunkies knock-out dart everyone in Smokey's camp to get to . . . Jin? Turns out Team Widmore needs Dharma Jin to interpret some old hippie maps that depict Island energy pockets. Uh oh, shades of Jughead . . . Smokey comes back to camp to find it all smoky—now you know how it feels, huh, pal? To walk into camp and see a bunch of bodies of . . . well, not people you care about, but people you need? Lucky for Smokey they are just unconscious. He goes first to his muscle, Zombie Sayid, who typically, knows nothing. Sayid, when you were alive, you were always full of ideas and answers. Sigh.

Sawyer's none too pleased to see Smokey and Sayid setting off for a repeat recon to Hydra Island. He and Kate are left to play a waiting game, similar to what's going on at . . .




Beach camp:

Yeah Jack, tell Sun about Jacob's Lighthouse, and how now you're a destiny junkie, and the cool numbers and the mirror . . . but leave out the part about how you busted up the mirror and any chance of finding out how it might help anyone. Yes, I'm still pissed about that.

Richard and Hurley come back from last week's ghost whispering, to the relief of everyone, sorta. Richard is in full Ricardus mode, ready to pack everyone up and get to Hydra Island to kick some Smokey butt. Sun, after hitting her head trying to escape Smokey in an earlier jungle encounter, can understand everything that is being said to her, but now is only speaking in Korean, just like in the Sideways world. She and Jack have a really nice moment on the beach, where he helps her regain her "voice," by suggesting she try writing things down, which she can still do in English. He also reaches over and touches her—but is it the Jacob touch? Sun is just as confused . . .

Sideways:

Jin & Sun are not married—no big surprise there. They still love each other, but seem less likely to be able to marry in this world, as he is already just a stooge of her father's. She is still lying to everyone she meets in this world, and planning an escape, but this time not away from, but with Jin. Keamy "the heart wants what it wants" may be wanting to cut Jin a break, but we'll never know. Mikhail and that eye are still out of luck. LOST is probably the best actor recycler of all time. Sun isn't quite as savvy about her father in this world. And she may be far more unlucky, as she seems in pretty bad shape after another Keamy-restaurant shoot-out. Oh, and she's pregnant, of course. LOST! Jin learns that he is a father Sideways, but back on the Island gets to see photos of his daughter for the first time while being held at . . .

Widmore's camp:

Smokey is as candidate-obsessed as Ilana. He arrives on Hydra Island to "rescue" Jin, while Sayid takes another dip underwater to perform his recon duty. Widmore faces him across a Smokey-repelling barrier, and seems none-too-impressed, suggesting that he is just a bogey-man, a ghost story, so a petulant Smokey declares war. He is just a brat and this is such a game, isn't it?

Is Widmore on Hydra Island because he can't step foot back on the main Island? When he was in charge of the Others was he just trying to keep the bottle corked? Was Ben's coup actually the result of his being the biggest Smokey dupe/dope of all time? Of course if Jacob had clued his right-hand man Ricardus in a tad more, Richard may not have supported Ben in his efforts. I'm still not clear about the Dharma purge and who, what, and why was behind that. Unless those crazy hippies were just as big a threat to the Island's destruction as Smokey. Maybe the experiment that Pierre Chang was trying to prevent would have uncorked the Island. Was Smokey behind the Dharma folk all along? It doesn't seem his usual modus operandi, which doesn't seem to have changed much since 1857—find someone, scan them for weaknesses and desires, make them an offer they won't want to refuse.

Widmore seems to be one of the good guys, but it's LOST . . . He does want to keep Smokey on the Island and prevent them all "ceasing to be," or in other words, prevent Sideways from happening. He thinks he can do that, with the help of "the package," or Desmond (knew it!) I don't know about the rest of you, but I have been waiting a LONG time to see you, brutha! And it looks like next week will be some epic, Scottish-accented, Island-mythological fun. Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy ride . . .

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